I’ve put my friends through hell

How many times have you believed you’ve lost friends because you’re going through a tough time and pushed them away?

Hi lovers and wanderlusters,

How many times have you believed you’ve lost friends because you’re going through a tough time and pushed them away?

I say I’ve put my friends through hell because conditioning has taught me by being vulnerable, open, raw and honest is WRONG and often punished, either through the silent treatment or rejection.

How many of your friends say they are there for you, but when push comes to shove, they aren’t? They don’t really want to know. Let’s keep smiling, be positive no matter what, whatever spin they need to justify why they are not there for you in your hour of need.

But that aside I think I’ve lost the aRt of communication, or perhaps I never had it. Maybe words are all I have, in the form of poetry, short fiction and songwriting. I cannot seem to be able to articulate accurately what I am feeling to anyone anymore, especially my friends. Some have turned their backs on me, and walked away, some say they understand, and then go distant and leave me alone.

And…

A few stay. They stick with me. They check in with me every day just to see how I am. In times of need is truly when you do find out who your friends are, and I’ve always believed if you can count on one hand how many true friends you have, then we are blessed. It’s those friends that matter.

And for those who have listened to me cry, rant and felt my turmoil and anguish and just listened without judgement or trying to fix me, I thank you. I love you. If you are reading this, YOU know who you are 💜

Since, somewhere along the way I’ve forgotten how to communicate, it seems storytelling is still my strongest asset in communicating, so I will not waffle on anymore about the ins and outs of what has, and is going on for me, you can read my song|poem below instead.

I originally wrote this piece at 4am in a lovely apartment in St Albans, England three years ago, but that’s another story. I am now going to rewrite most of it, right here, right now to fit the current situation.

This is the first ‘freestyle’, ‘draft’ whatever you want to call it, I’m just getting it out, and then calling it a day.

Thank you for listening 🙏🏼

With love from my heart to yours 💜

I’M NOT OKAY

I'm not okay
Are you okay?

Down the gravel road
of cobblestones unturned.
Laying heavy against my chest
thoughts obscure,
mangled,
between sheds of skin,
ripping at the seams,
of regret,
of resentments,
filled with languished hopes,
and how our hearts and minds tease us 
at the hands of society,
that strangle our throats.

I'm not okay.
Are you okay?

Inside the wet down
of blankets,
of rain,
droplets upon
faces of brown,
of black,
of white,
And red,
ruddied with tears,
bloodied from the chain
that strikes,
gouges my eyes,
again,
and again,
living inside the prison of pain.

I'm not okay.
Are you okay?

Received upon the altar of despair
Leave me here,
Inside the blanket
of memories,
inside trees of hope,
whispering,
taunting me,
brushing me,
touching me,
entangling and weaving the willows
of green inside my hair,
tying me to the
shame so common,
yet so rare,
we speak not of it
for fear,
of judgment,
of fix its,
of brokenness,
of life lost,
inside the abyss.

I'm not okay
Are you okay?

Been down this road before
locked into a train
with no escape,
except for the small moments of 
human touch,
of distant memories,
that torment,
and dance with demons,
lurking inside the
squared shape, 
that has now become my heart,
A box inside itself,
within itself,
twice over,
engraved upon stone,
Upon cement,
A cold, concrete space
of the dark kiss of lament.

I'm not okay.
Are you okay?

Received upon the altar of despair,
Leave me here,
Inside the blanket of decay.
I'm not okay.

© Samira Wyld 2020
#AWyldLoveNote

If you’d like to come back to any of my poetry within these blog posts click here

Stay seXy, Stay wYld, Be free

Peace out ☮

Samira xo

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Psst… All content in one place ~ Why?

Hey lovers and wanderlusters,

It’s been busy, busy over at the Wyld And Untamed headquarters.

And here’s one of the reasons why? You maybe following me on social media, let’s face it, I’m everywhere, but NOT all my content is.

I’ve had my entire VIMEO account banned and all videos and thousands upon thousands of views and comments all removed. Many of my posts on Instagram and TikTok are taken down without explanation and I always abide by the guidelines. Go figure…

I guess many people don’t like ‘Body Positivity, sensuality and being comfortable in your own skin.

However, none of that is going to stop me, and never will. I’m a creative, and talented aRtist with many, many passions that cover a diverse range of things, and I’m absofuckinglutely sure there is something on this website for everyone.

SO…I’ve been working hard on revamping my website because I will be bringing EVERYTHING over here. If you don’t want to follow me on other social media platforms all you need to do is come straight to ‘The Wyld And Untamed’ website and over time you will find all the content you need. Choose your poison 😜

IN OTHER NEWS

Besides the fact that ‘The Wyld Sessions’ is about to drop. I can barely contain my excitement. 😜I wrote about sharing a little secret here

Then some more info here

And the one promo that kicked it all off with even more insight into the project, is here

If you want to just get straight to the music, without all the quirky insight behind the project then head over here

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On my Poetry | Lyrics page you will find a series of excerpts that look similar to the following. I’m currently working on that page, where when you click on the excerpt it will take you to the full poem or song.

Here is an example of what I mean.

Click on the quote below.

ON BODY POSITIVITY, I am bringing back the ‘AFTER DARK’ series and will be uploading a video each week. ‘La Vie En Rose’ is already up to get you started. And the ‘BEFORE DAWN’ series is currently in the works, so stay tuned for that and remember to subscribe for all latest updates.

Have a cruise around. You’ll find everything from NEW music, poetry, books, spoken word, photography, to body positivity.

Let me know what you think and if you find anything weird like broken links etc, please leave a comment below.

Stay seXy, Stay wYld, Be free

Peace out ☮

Samira xo

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Please share on social media, and/or forward to a friend if you think this might serve them, or be something they will enjoy.

Your feedback is ALWAYS welcome, please share by leaving a comment below.

Sensuality in the love ache

Hi Lovers and wanderlusters,

To all my ah-mazing subscribers, please forgive me if you receive another email regarding this post. I had to take it down when I found the formatting on the mobile version was seriously fucked up. So, let’s start again. Grab a beverage of your choice sit back and relax and enjoy the video 🙂

It’s officially autumn in Australia, but it appears Queensland didn’t receive the memo as the oppressive heat and high humidity continues.

Fun fact: Queensland has only TWO seasons, wet and dry.

We have a brand NEW video… read on lovers.

WEBSITE UPDATE:
hmmm,
no wi-fi
The End.

I’m relying on data to get anything done and having to use my phone as a hotspot, so much fun connecting – NOT! So, today I bought a portable wi-fi modem which so far appears to be working well, better than my internet has ever worked in the 3 years that I’ve lived in this part of town, that I call ‘bum fuck nowhere’

So, until I can work some magick on my website I will continue to record and write you Wyld love notes. The following video is a Spoken word piece called ‘AWAKE’

I composed the background music for it. Don’t get too excited, it’s kinda ordinary, but I did it with limited resources, so I was pretty happy with the final result.

I was also going to make this video IG and YouTube friendly, but somehow it didn’t feel right. A big part of who I am and what I do is about being:

REAL
RAW
OPEN
NAKED

And that is not only in how I write, but also how I like to perform, and BE in the world. Many that know me, will know I’m a strong advocate of being comfortable in our own skin with a positive body image, for men and women, and most of my videos will include some form of nudity as aRt.

I hope you like what i’ve done with this piece. I will add the lyrics below the video.

if for some mad reason the following video link does not work, please, please comment below or email me directly so we can get it sorted.

Click here to watch video (Mature audiences only)
Written and composed: Samira Wyld

 AWAKE ~ (from my collection of poetry 
‘A Wyld Love Note’)
  
 Maybe tomorrow I’ll be stronger,
 Edge the cup from your table,
 Love you a little less,
 rather than a little longer.
  
 I am awake,
 I am awake,
 Yet when I sleep
 I fall deep,
 Into dark places
 where shadows fall
 upon the light
 removing all doubt
 knowing that when I wake, 
 I was right.
  
 I am awake,
 I am awake,
 Until slumber befalls
 the tears torn on the 
 blood soaked sheet
 of my mangled feet
 where I’ve been
 Running,
 Running,
 over broken glass,
 I thought was soft grass.
  
 My body aches and drives
 against the needles plunging into my eyes
 marring my vision,
 Its messed up and ruined
 as I wander empty halls
 against soft calls
 that lock me down
 Into a prison,
 Of waste,
 Of Haste,
 A Foul taste,
 My tongue bleeds,
 as I swallow your evil words,
 that live on,
 and on,
 and on,
 until there is nothing left,
 all eaten,
 devoured and gone.
  
 It is only when I am awake
 That I am safe from harm,
 Safe from your arm
 that once held me close,
 Your kiss that deepened my spirit,
 Taking me deeper
 into the source of love,
 A love I’d never known
 could feel so empty,
 So empty I could cry,
 that’s because it was nothing but 
 a dirty messed up fucking lie.
  
 As I drown in a pool of nightmare sweat,
 I wait for dawn,
 Every inch of me,
 Craves sleep as I yawn.
 But I’m safer this way,
 As day turns to night,
 And night into day,
 For I am awake,
 I am awake.
  
 ~ Samira Wyld © 2020

LATEST SINGLES: Stay tuned for my forthcoming solo album 🙂

Stay seXy, Stay wYld, Be free.

Peace out ✌
Samira ox ☮

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Your feedback is ALWAYS welcome, please share by leaving a comment below.

Please share on social media, and/or forward to a friend if you think this might serve them, or be something they will enjoy.

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RETURN TO HOME —>

Renewal

Hey lovers and wanderlusters,

While this website is currently undergoing some major changes, I figured there is still no reason not to blog in the meantime, and keep you in the loop. I will be combining all three websites to just one, this ONE, so yay, I’m glad you’re here 🙂 More on that later…

Photo: Wyld Photography

Remember, if you on a PC, subscribe to the right of the screen, and if you are reading on your device wait for the pop up, hit the follow and it will ask you for your email, that way, you won’t miss a post. If for some reason subscribing turns out to be a pain in the proverbial, feel free to message me here and I will walk you through it. I am still in the process of finding an easier or better option for subscribing, so please just bear with me.

So, now to the writing. Grab yourself a cuppa or beverage of your choice and sit back and enjoy. All feedback welcome 🙂

From my collection of poetry, A Wyld Love Note,

RENEWAL

What’s mine is mine
because what was yours you took without a care or a look.

Have a laugh and watch the fall,
Oh, the cliche of it all,
of love,
hearts,
and sunken ships of broken bones,
and jagged hips,
the torn up kiss,
from the bloodied lips.

Life will never be the same,
it’s not supposed to be,
re-invention of who we are is nothing new to me,
and as I delete your last frame,
I’ve already forgotten your fucking name.’

~ Samira Wyld © 2020

Photo: Wyld Photography

THE BRIDGE

I want to jump off a bridge,
‘The bridge is too high’, they said
But what you don’t understand is, ‘I want to die, and be forever dead’.

It’s cold where I stand,
the breeze falls upon my shoulder,
it’s high up here, and I wonder where will I land,
Is it there?
where the concrete is stark and bare,
Or here?
where the graveyard meets the lair,
Perhaps over there?
where the grass is greener,
it’s always greener over there,
but really, do I care?
so long as I close my eyes, and open them in the neverwhere.

How long have I been standing here?
Waiting,
Waiting,
Just waiting,
For a car to come,
A person to run,
My phone to ring,
A bird to sing,
Waiting for courage
amidst the flourish of the naysayers, and self-righteous beggars of the thief,
who wouldn’t understand why a caterpillar needs a leaf.

I shake from the cold
my clothes barely cover the scars of my attempted fold,
of skin over skin,
and the horrid laughing, and ridicule from within.

The layers of dark
now leave me
with mo more verbal attack,
and no light to draw me back,
Alone,
Alone,
shaking with fear on a bridge too high,
from where I will jump,
and find the courage to die.’

~ Samira Wyld © 2020

Photo: Wyld Photography

Forgotten Feather

The bridge between us cannot last,
for I have cast
all hate and ridicule
down the mast of obvious denial,
setting my heart on trial.
I want to hate you, I truly do,
the things you’ve said and done can never be forgotten,
the harm,
the pain inflicted is vile and rotten.

But you lie in your bed made of untruths,
in an awkward disposition,
mangled and torn,
hurting and hating on the one who loved you,
deeply, truly, madly,
Yes, you are right mon amour,
it can’t be undone
the blackness of hate,
vile words spoken,
showing a deeper truth,
your love was merely a token,
nothing deeper or meaningful,
like I had believed,
I know you are relieved,
your final words pushed me away forever,
And even though the bridge between us can’t last,
our love was butchered at the hands of your fury,
so now we stand at the precipice gazing at one another,
Silently longing,
Silently holding on to a forgotten feather,
that once held us together.

~ Samira Wyld © 2020

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With love from my heart to yours ❤
Samira xo

Stay seXy, stay wYld, Be Free

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Please share on social media, and/or forward to a friend if you think this might serve them, or be something they will enjoy.

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